So often our worlds are shaped by our loved ones and their guidance. Well, I brought in some of my go-to advice-givers to share some wonderfully wise words. These women are a few of the ones who hold me up and push me through, and their guidance has been invaluable to me at every turn. They’re my sisters, my sanity, and my support system. And…they each found their man (and happen to have some of the best relationships I’ve ever seen!). The also got married a little later, and had a thing or two to say about it!
So, without further ado, here’s a dose of wisdom from my girls to YOU!
When I asked if there was a benefit to marrying later, and if they thought it was worth the wait . . .
It is well worth the wait if you are focusing on building the relationship you want.
I think lessons I learned in life up to the point of marriage prepared me for what it meant to really be the person someone else could rely on, and I also better understood God’s love for me. By the time I got married I wasn’t chasing approval or validation, I was ready for something deeper.
I didn’t necessarily wait to get married until I was older…it just worked out that way! If I met my spouse younger, I probably would have married younger.
I am glad the timing worked out the way it did. I know God’s perspective is perfect and I was in the right place for a relationship. That required the focus to be about we and not just me on a daily basis.
I think waiting till I was older to get married allowed me to get to know myself a bit better. I learned how to rely on myself, and how to ask for help when I needed it.
I don’t think I missed anything. I’ve seen so many people get divorced and remarried in their 20s, so I don’t see the benefit in rushing it.
I’m certainly glad I had some dating experience before marrying. As much as heartbreak hurts, it allowed me to learn what I want and need in a relationship. If I married the first person that I seriously dated, I would be so miserable now!
Sidenote: They also said it made it easier to have their dream wedding . . .
You also have a bit more financial freedom to have the wedding you want!
It was less stressful to plan for a wedding knowing I was able to afford it, and I was actually able to get everything I wanted, within reason.
I feel like the friendships I have in my 30s are much stronger than my 20s, so I was able to have the people I am confident in knowing for life come to my wedding.
When I asked if they struggled with the wait . . .
ABSOLUTELY. I super struggled with it. I thought “what is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want me?” I read romances and watched romcoms and thought “I want that. I want someone to look at me, and see me, and love me just as I am.”
I struggled and I didn’t always deal with it gracefully haha. There is so much pressure as you get older to have the wedding and be married, not just because it’s what the majority of people are doing, but because you also see people you love so happy. It’s natural to also want that yourself.
We all want companionship, it’s human nature. So naturally I found myself impatient at times when I wasn’t having any luck in the dating field.
I always dated with intention, with the desire of finding my lifelong partner rather than just dating around. So when date after date didn’t work out, it was frustrating. I often wondered if I would ever find my life partner and prayed to God, letting Him know my thoughts.
. . . and how they dealt with that struggle . . .
I dealt with it through prayer, reading related books, and by taking dating breaks when I needed to. Dating when you aren’t excited about it is just a waste of time and energy. It shouldn’t feel like a chore.
I prayed and handed control of my dating life over to the Lord, I realized that my identity was in Him and that was enough. When the right person came into my life it would be because God brought him to me and if He chose not to, that would be ok too – that would be enough.
I reminded myself that, cliche but true, your journey is your own. It doesn’t matter when or if you get married so long as you are building the partnership that’s right for you on your terms.
I realized that my faith, my salvation, was the greatest love story of all.
When I asked what advice they would give about the timing of marriage . . .
Don’t get married until you know yourself, and that honestly just takes time and moving through different experiences!
Finding your life partner, at whatever age, is a gift that you take when it is given to you!
Seek God and your path will lead you exactly where you are meant to go. By following closely to Him, you can only love better and be loved more wholly by the one He brings you.
Live in the moment. Celebrate the season you are in. Love yourself more, and love others more.
