It’s that time of year again: wedding season! Time to book those plane tickets, allocate time off for the festivities, and . . . start strategizing how you’re gonna do this solo!
I know it can be easy to dread wedding season when you’re *dun dun dun* single. But, I’m here to help you celebrate like a celebrity, even if you’re showing up without a plus-one!
Wedding season happens to be my favorite season (yup, you read that right). As much as I love a fall latte and Christmas music, they just don’t compare to the joy of champagne toasts and jammin’ on the dance floor with your friends to a good throwback! So, let’s talk logistics, darling…
Mindset
Let’s tackle the most important stuff first. If weddings bum you out, we’re about to turn that frown upside-down! A good mindset is your best bet to ensure you have a blast while watching your friends make their way down the aisle.
First of all, your feelings are valid. Period. You’re allowed to feel a little left out or a little behind (even though, I promise, you aren’t and you’re not!). Sometimes I think we try to suppress these feelings, telling ourselves that we’re being silly or selfish. Stop shaming yourself, girlfriend. And please know that you are not alone! We’ve all been there.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Just because you’re happy to be there, and very happy for the happy couple, doesn’t mean you have to be happy every second of it. I’ve absolutely cried “sappy” (sad & happy) tears into my champagne at many a nuptial. And if you need to, you have permission to take a quiet moment, and then jump back into the party when you’re ready.
Now, let’s get to the good part. Why are weddings some of my favorite things? Because how often do you get to eat, drink, dance, and party with a bunch of people you like (and probably rarely see), for a once-in-a-lifetime occasion? Exactly. Friendships are rekindled, stronger bonds are formed, and infinite fun is had at weddings. Plus, we get to witness something so, so special. It’s the perfect package of joy on top of joy, so enjoy it!
And even when all else fails, here’s what I focus on to get me back into festive mode. I ask myself:
“How do I want my friends to feel when it’s my turn?”
Chances are, someday it’ll be your turn, too, darling! And how do you want your favorite people to feel about it? I sincerely hope that mine are celebrating and savoring every second of my wedding with me. So, I remind myself how important it is to me to really show up for them during their time.
Plus-Ones
When you get that invitation in the mail, and it has your name and “guest” on it . . . keep calm and consider taking a friend! Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to go solo! Most brides don’t mind if you bring someone who’s not a significant other. *Note: Plus-ones are not assumed, so just make sure you have one before you try to RSVP for two!
If you want to fly solo, you absolutely can! Depending on the wedding, I usually prefer to go it alone – it makes it easier to just go with the flow. However, I have definitely taken some of my best friends as my celebration side-kicks and we’ve had the best time. You could even bring someone you’re seeing, but not serious with, if you’re comfortable. I will say, if you’re considering this, make sure that if you stop seeing each other, their presence at this wedding won’t taint the memories for you!
So when you’re given the option of bringing someone with you, how do you decide whether to and who?
Well, your date for the event should probably meet the following criteria:
Someone who matches your party energy. If you love to live on the dancefloor, they should probably like to get their groove on, too. It’s a big bummer when you’re in party mode and they aren’t. We all have loved ones who hate to bust a move in public (and we do love them!), but they’re probably not optimal options for these types of occasions. Having someone you’re in celebratory sync with is super helpful!
Is able to be left on their own for a bit. You won’t be side-by-side for the whole affair, so you’ll want your plus-one to be able to be comfortable without you for a while. When you have to get up from the dinner table, you don’t want them to feel left in a lurch. Bonus points if they’re the kind who can make friends with people they run into at the bar LOL.
Easy to travel with. If this wedding requires more than a short drive to get to, you and your plus-one are gonna be spending more time together. Especially if it’s a destination wedding, you’ll want to make sure you guys will have a great time beyond just the reception!
Accommodations & Gifts
Wedding season can get a bit expensive, and if you’re not sharing expenses with someone else, it can add up even faster. So, here are some tips and tricks to make it more feasible.
Find a bunk buddy (or a few). Especially for destination weddings, share accommodations! If you’re in the bridal party, find another solo bridesmaid to room with. If you can’t find one other single person, you can even make it a group thing. I have definitely been that couch surfer in a suite with multiple friends attending (this can also work if you’re the only single in the bunch!). This is also a great way to make new friends, and help make it more affordable for them too, so don’t be shy!
Go in on a group gift. On top of travel expenses (not to mention bridal party expenses, if they apply), gifts are another cost. And when you have multiple weddings in a season, you might as well just buy stock in wedding registries LOL. One thing I’ve found to be helpful, if I know other people attending the wedding (especially other bridesmaids), is to go in on a group gift. Then a little less from each person adds up to something extra fun and special for the bride and groom!
The Bouquet Toss
To catch or not to catch, that is the question. Well, actually, I’m just here to advocate for presence and participation. I’ve joined in many tosses, but have only caught one bouquet. And let’s be real, some of them I definitely didn’t want to catch. Cue me doing the cha-cha slideee to the left to make sure those flowers justtt missed me LOL. But, whether I’m trying to be a baseball star that day, or duck and dive, I will always hit the dancefloor to jive to some Beyonce as the bride passes this classic baton. Why?? Because I’m not ashamed of being single. In fact, this is the only wedding activity where you have to be unmarried to participate. I’m so there! And that group of ladies who gather for that moment . . . those are my people.
If this isn’t your scene, you don’t have to jump out of your seat to take part, but I would encourage it! It can be viewed as a humiliating ritual, or it can be seen as an act of sisterhood. I choose the latter. And that one bouquet I caught . . . well, that moment has turned out to be one of my favorite wedding memories! Plus, if there’s a gentleman in the crowd who’s been wondering if he might have a shot, this will at least signal that you’re not locked down yet 😉
Meeting other singles
Weddings are a great way to meet other singles . . . both eligible bachelors and girlfriends! Seriously. Some of my favorite couples met at a wedding. It’s a perfect setting to allow for those interactions without any added pressure. And, somehow, there’s nothing quite like a wedding to bring the single ladies in the room together. Chances are, you’re not the only one flying solo, so find your tribe (and maybe your date for the next shindig!).
Trust me, even if you feel like sitting out, these are truly special occasions that you do not want to miss (or be miserable for). So, here’s to being merry while watching your loved ones get married!
You’ve got this, darling! And I’m in your corner, cheering you on.
