One thing you can count on: the longer your friendships last, the more seasons and changes you’ll face – often at different times and from different places. Fostering female friendships in different stages of life can be challenging. But I promise it’s worth it.
I’ve been fortunate to walk through life with some pretty phenomenal women, even when the seasons we were in were definitely not the same. I won’t lie – it can be hard sometimes, but I’ve found some practical strategies that have helped. Here are some tips for strengthening and maintaining your friendships:
1. Give each other grace
When your lives look a bit different, it might be hard to understand exactly where the other is operating from, but always assume good intentions and be as adaptable as possible for each other. A little flexibility goes a long way.
2. Make the little things count
Never underestimate the power of a check-in text or a quick call. Pass along a funny meme or a memory. Letting them know they’re on your mind requires no time at all, but will help keep you connected.
3. Say what’s on your mind (and on your heart)
Good friends are open to sharing and hearing about what’s really going on in each other’s lives. Always have honest conversations, especially if you feel disconnected.
4. Avoid any assumptions about availability
Let’s set the record straight: neither of you has more time than the other. Whether you’re single, married or have children, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. While your responsibilities and priorities may vary, don’t assume that the other person has it easier or should be more available. We’re all carrying our own load in life, and building and maintaining great friendships requires effort from everyone.
5. Show up sincerely, not just equally
Especially being in different seasons, you’ll experience different trials and times of need. Show up for each other based on these things, not just based on immediate reciprocity. Remember that no relationship is 50/50 all the time. Don’t be afraid to pour into your friendship more during times when you can offer support, but also be willing to receive more in your times of need.
6. Celebrate your differences
Being in different seasons means you each have unique perspective to offer. Let these differences bring you together, not pull you apart. Consider it an opportunity to combine forces – you each have something special to bring to the table, and together you’ll have even more wisdom.
7. Invite each other into your worlds
You don’t have to just watch from the sidelines – bring each other into your daily lives and events. This counts for big and small things, from special occasions to running errands together. Some of my favorite friendship moments have been found in their kids’ birthday parties and grocery store runs. And don’t be afraid to cross over into unknown territory. Friendship is not always about finding middle ground, but rather being willing to venture into each other’s worlds in fun, meaningful, and even random, ways.
8. Have a support system
Your friends who are in different stages of life may not be able to meet all of your social needs, and that’s OK! It’s not fair or realistic to place those types of expectations on each other. So, building a broader circle of support with women who are in a similar season can be extremely helpful.
While we love our married and mom friends, if you’re craving community with other single women, Single Darlings Co. is for you! Honestly, I created it for me too – because I know what it’s like to feel like the last single girl standing, and I also know the power of fierce female friendship. Click here to check out our community!
No matter what season you’re in, darling, remember that real friendship isn’t always about walking the same path, or being in the same place at the same time. Fostering female friendships in different stages of life is about being there for each other, no matter where you find yourselves, in every stage of life.
