Limited timeline, liberating experience…
There’s something to be said for going all-in for the short run. So often in dating we get caught-up in the long haul. The future is the focus, and we cannot deviate because we might miss something…well, someone. We date for marriage, for that lasting relationship, for “the one.” And the second we find out it isn’t guaranteed to last, we jump ship. “I don’t wanna waste my time” we justify to ourselves. But here’s the thing…what really qualifies as wasted time in dating?
We had been dating casually for a couple of months when he got a job offer out of state (like…a really good one that he definitely needed to take!). I decided I wasn’t ready to stop seeing him. We didn’t have to expedite the ending. We still hadn’t committed to each other anyway, so what was there to decide now? And then I discovered that he had only been seeing me. Yeah. And he sorta thought that I had been doing the same thing. Oops LOL. I wasn’t seeing anyone else the same way I had been seeing him, I just hadn’t stopped going on first dates entirely. And, let’s be real, he hadn’t said anything, geez! Raise your hand if you subconsciously believe that seeking exclusivity first somehow makes you the “clinger” one…*raises one hand, facepalms with the other.*
Anyway, so now that we knew where we stood, it was a matter of figuring out where to go from there. He told me he understood if I wanted to just keep seeing other people since he was moving soon. I thought about it…I mean, that would be the logical approach, right? And then my response shocked both of us: “and what if I didn’t?”
We’re all familiar with the it’s-gonna-end-anyway-so-why-not-just-end-it-now script…this is how the Hallmark Channel makes way for the dude who wins in the end. Well, I decided to change the narrative this time. The excuses started to stream in, and one in particular stood out: “but what if you fall harder?” After sitting with that thought for a second, I realized SO WHAT IF I DO?! Honestly, I think that would be a good sign that I fully embraced this relationship. I’ve been focusing a lot lately on making sure I live from a place of faith instead of fear. So this is me choosing to ignore the fear of when it ends so I can live in the moment with complete faith…faith in myself, faith in him, faith in us. And if fate pulls us apart, so be it…but I’m certainly not gonna do the universe’s dirty work for it, nor am I going to throw away a single moment of possibility. Because that would be a waste!
And let me tell you, it has already been so rewarding. Because for once it’s not about staying together, it’s about being together…which requires us to actually be in the present. Not for the sake of making it last, but for the sake of making it count.
So here’s your reminder to live, love, and be in the moment, darling. Because I promise, if you do, you won’t miss a thing…and you just might be surprised at how much you gain.
