Some of my girls are backkk, and they’re spilling the tea about some of the worst dating advice they’ve ever received! Don’t worry, darling, they’re also including what they wish someone had told them instead. (And you may also get a bit of extra commentary from yours truly 😉)
Who to Date
Worse advice: There is one person out there for you.
She says: Go into things with an open heart instead! Get burned and, when you’re ready, try again. But always be honest with yourself about what you want, and set boundaries of what you’re not willing to accept. Always keep your friends closest – they’ll be the ones there to catch you when you fall. My friends are my soul mates.
Commentary from Carrie: I used to believe we had one soulmate…and thus life became a mad dash to try to find him! Instead, I’ve come to find that we get to have multiple loves in this life – each one leads us closer to the ultimate one, and is forever part of who we are. (And yes, I’ve definitely found soulmates in my girlfriends…so thank God we’re not limited to just one!)
Worst advice: “Don’t date a lawyer…”
She Says: ***Spoiler alert: I married one 😉
Commentary from Carrie: For the longest time I refused to date other lawyers. But then, on a whim, I let one slip through the cracks…and he changed my both my heart and my mind on this matter.
Why to Date
Worst Advice: Date to marry.
She Says: Date for a million different reasons, so long as they are right for you at the time.
Commentary from Carrie: I have so much to say about this, but I’ll simply say this: don’t be so set on the destination that you miss out on the journey! You’ll miss a lot of important stuff, including everything you’re meant to experience along the way to help you become the person (and partner!) you’re meant to be!
How to Date
Worst Advice: Don’t do long distance.
She Says: One long distance relationship resulted in the best summer of my life! And the next long distance relationship was with the man I married (so my life would have been forever changed had I made a different decision!).
Commentary from Carrie: Some of the best relationships I’ve ever seen have conquered long distance! *We’ll do a separate post on this later!
Worst Advice: You shouldn’t have to work at it, what’s meant to be will just find you!
She Says: Obviously you shouldn’t force a connection with anyone, or settle, but dating takes work and effort to put yourself out there! And your person is not gonna find you sitting at home on the couch!
Commentary from Carrie: While compatibility should work, dating is work – and ya just gotta do it, darling! Trust me, I spent quite some time seeing if my man would just walk into my world…and then I had to get real about making space for the possibilities, instead.
Worst Advice: It’s ok because you’re going to marry him anyways and he loves you, so why wait?
She Says: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – The right man will wait, and his heart will be full for the Lord, and that will be enough for him as well. The right man will pursue you the way the Lord pursues you, with patience.
Commentary from Carrie: Instead of asking “why wait?” I’ve found it’s always more productive to ask: “why now?” and “why him?”
Wishing you wise advice from good counsel, and a dating journey that fills your heart!
XOXO,
Carrie
