Dating somewhere between too much too soon, and not enough…
Alright, let’s talk about pacing in early dating. When you’re getting to know someone, how fast is too fast? I mean, how slow should you go? The short answer: you don’t have to run, but girl…ya gotta move! A solid walking pace will do (figuratively and literally).
I’m just gonna throw this out there: skip the small talk. Yes, I’m serious. It doesn’t serve either of you, and honestly, I think it just adds to the awkwardness. Let me put it this way – you’re not trying to date everyone you meet, so why would you treat someone you’re trying to date like every other random person? Polite chit chat is for the nice human next to you on public transportation. Leave it there.
Before we get too rowdy, let me clarify. I am not telling you to dive headfirst into the deep end. Just follow the good old-fashioned pool rules: don’t run, walk. But move… moooooove. And do it with purpose. The primary assignment here is to figure out if this is someone you want to spend more time with (and give them the chance to figure out the same thing). You can’t do that if you don’t actually learn anything about each other.
My recommendation is to find out what they’re passionate about. Everyone loves to talk about what matters to them! So, less chatter about the weather and routines, and more about hobbies, travel, friends and family, and goals. If hesitation is keeping you hovering in the territory of a conversation you would have at a networking event, take a deep breath, and then take it a step further.
While we’re on the subject, walking is useful in more ways than one. Yup, I’m suggesting that you literally get your steps in together. There’s science to support this strategy because movement signals to the brain that you’re safe. And let’s be real, walking and talking is way better than sitting and staring. My favorite is grabbing a cup of coffee and taking it on the go. Trust me, taking your date for a stroll really does help you skip to the good part.
Here’s to pacing in early dating and finding your stride, darling! And when in doubt, walk it out.
Want more dating tips? Check out this blog on what to talk about on the first few dates!
