Single ladies everywhere are doing fierce juggling acts trying to date and do all the other things. Is this you too, darling? Balancing dating with every other part of our lives can get a bit wild sometimes.
I’ve had times when I’ve been dating up a storm, but other things didn’t get done (oops). And I’ve had times when I’ve pulled the plug on dating to try to catch up on work and obligations. But there has to be a happy medium, right? There is!
Here’s what I’ve learned about balancing dating – and fitting everything in – without losing my mind.
*If you want some specifics about staying sane on dating apps, I’ve got you covered with this blog post!
1. Get clear on your priorities.
Being super clear on my priorities has been key to maintaining my sanity!
God comes first. Family and friends come second. Career is third.
…and dating comes after all of that.
I have learned that in order to live well and date well, I have to honor myself – every part of myself – and the purposes I feel called to. I can’t build something real with someone else if I’m constantly compromising who I am and what I’m all about to try to make space for that relationship.
I’ve tried it the other way; I’ve tried prioritizing dating over other parts of my life (to just “get it done” *facepalm*) … it did not go well. When other parts of my life are properly prioritized (I’m not saying perfect, just intentional), dating comes easily. But, when I’m off-kilter, dating just adds to the hot mess!
2. Stay true to who you are.
When I date, I want to bring my best, fullest, and most authentic self to the table.
Here’s why: I don’t just want my man to know me as his partner. I want him to know me in my many roles – as the daughter, sister, granddaughter, best friend, auntie, lawyer, holistic health guru, and multi-passionate woman that I am…and how my faith transcends every part of my life.
If you want to attract the right partner, you have to be right with yourself and everything you value, first. Besides, no one wants to fall for just one form of a person…the whole package is way more interesting 😉
3. Take dating breaks when you need to.
Don’t be afraid to take breaks (or a long hiatus!), especially if you’re in a season where dating isn’t serving you. There’s A LOT of pressure to just keep dating, but you should feel free to hit pause when you need to.
I used to just power through. But now, if I need time and space to resituate, I do that without apology. And if I’ve fallen into a dating pattern where I’m just going through the motions, I step back and reset. Dating is about quality, not quantity. If I am not in a place to do it well, I won’t do it at all.
4. Let the boys do the lifting.
I’ve learned to be the “CEO” of my dating life.
When I was in my mid-20s, I put all kinds of time and effort into planning dates and really trying to “show up” for guys. The result? I wasted a lot of energy planning things with guys who weren’t really that interested.
Learning to lean back and let them make the effort (especially initially) has been a game-changer! It tells me upfront if he is truly interested in spending time with me. The ones who are really into you will want to step up in this way. Plus, not having to admin dates – particularly the first few with a new guy – has made dating much easier and way more fun!
Let him court you, darling! And that includes him taking the lead on planning things for a while. Trust me, it’ll save you a ton of time…so you can date like a boss instead of an overworked intern 😉
Wishing you joy and sanity while balancing dating and all the things, so you can live and date the way you want to!
