This week we’re back with part two of A Single Girl’s 30 AFTER 30!
In my experience, these single girl life lessons fit into seven categories: Faith, Dating, Community, Personal, Professional, Health, and Financial. And these categories are just as great for goal setting as they are for reflecting. If you’re looking to make the most of the rest of this year, or get a head start on preparing for the next, grab my freebie, The Seven Habits of a Happy Single Woman. If you don’t have this resource yet, you can grab your free copy here.
In this post, you’ll find different lessons from each of those seven categories. Here are #11 though #20 of a Single Girl’s 30 After 30! Be sure to check out the previous blog for #1 through #10!
FAITH:
11. Your femininity is your superpower – lean into it.
Throughout my 20s, I thought I had to be “one of the boys” to be successful. And boy, was I wrong. Femininity isn’t a weakness, it’s a God-given strength, darling.
You can absolutely hang with the boys, without trying to be one of them. Doing things differently doesn’t mean you can’t do them just as well…it just means you were meant to do them your way. Don’t hide or modify your unique perspectives and abilities – embrace them, embody them, and unapologetically use them for God’s glory. He put you at that table for a reason…and it wasn’t for you to try to be something you’re not.
12. The more you care about what God thinks of you, the less you care about what anyone else thinks of you.
The world will tell you that you’re not enough, that you’re too much, or that you should be more or less of this or that. But he will tell you you’re loved, adored, and completely held, just as you are. The world will tell you that you don’t belong. But he will tell you that you’re chosen.
I wasted a lot of time in my 20s being worried about what other people thought about me. Well, actually, I was just worried about what I thought they thought about me. Because, let’s be real, most people really aren’t paying much attention to your life anyway.
But God is. He cares a lot about every single detail. And he knows the truth about you. Simply choosing to believe the truth about who you are will be your greatest weapon against any lies.
DATING:
13. You are worthy of love. But nothing and no one will ever be able to convince you of that.
The only thing more damaging than dating from a place of desperation is dating in search of validation. Trust me, it’ll never work that way.
No relationship could ever convince you that you’re worthy. You have to know that for yourself, first.
When you date from a secure place, the process is so much more rewarding and fun! Because when you already know that you are worthy of love, it’s much easier to experience the kind of love you know you’re worthy of.
COMMUNITY:
14. The company you keep will either empower and refine you, or limit you – choose well.
If you want to know what your future will look like, first look at the friendships you keep. I don’t mean comparing chapters of life or comparing successes. I mean looking closely at the things that can’t really be measured.
Do you lift each other up? Call each other out when needed? Call each other into more? Support each other in your unique pursuits?
Healthy friendships aren’t about being in the same place, but they are about making sure you aren’t holding each other back.
Community is critical when it comes to building a life you love. Because we’re meant to build each other up and move each other forward. So be that friend! And choose to surround yourself with people who want to do the same for you.
PERSONAL:
15. The “Rule of Fives” is real.
If it’s not going to matter 5 years from now, don’t waste more than 5 minutes being upset about it. And if you can’t picture that person being in your life 5 years from now, they don’t get a say.
I spent so much time and energy in my 20s being upset about things that didn’t matter. So, take it from me: don’t waste the present being concerned with things that won’t follow you into your future.
16. Planning can become an excuse disguised as productivity.
I’m not telling you not to plan. As a woman who loves her day planner and appreciates the value of being prepared, I would never 😉
But I do want to highlight the point where planning and preparation start to keep us from achieving our dreams.
Progress requires action. So, if you’re letting perpetual planning stand in your way, it’s time to ditch the pen and paper, and start making some moves. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Progress does not require perfection.
PROFESSIONAL:
17. Your work (no matter how meaningful) cannot define you.
While our careers are certainly part of building lives we love, they’ll never be the whole picture. Because even though what you do matters (a lot!) and there is deep gratification in meaningful work, work cannot give meaning to other parts of your life.
So, make sure you love what you do, and put lots of love into it! But never let it dictate who you are.
18. You can be more than one thing.
If you were told you had to devote yourself to one thing, or one means of success, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true.
You’re allowed to have multiple interests and skill sets, and you don’t have to commit to “being” just one thing. You can try new ventures on for size, pick up a passion project, or start a side-gig.
And if your current big girl job isn’t bringing you joy, remember that you’re meant for more than just working to pay the bills.
HEALTH:
19. If you value yourself, you value your health.
…and if you don’t value your health, you don’t value yourself.
I said what I said.
Because how can you really value yourself if you don’t value the body you’re living in? Spoiler: you can’t.
How you choose to support your well-being is directly correlated with how you feel about yourself. And if you want to feel better (not just physically), start taking better care of yourself. Trust me, it will change everything.
FINANCIAL:
20. Let your budget reflect your values, not just your circumstances.
How you choose to spend your money is much more important than how much of it you have. Feeling financially secure isn’t just a numbers game. Be sure to include things that really matter to you in your budget.
Being a good steward is hard to do if you’re only focusing on quantity instead of quality.
Be sure to check out the blog next week for the final round of A Single Girl’s 30 AFTER 30!
