That time that dating moved online…oh, wait.
This week marked one of my pandemic milestones (anyone else have those?…no? LOL)…drumroll please….it’s been one year since I got back on dating apps. I had taken a healthy break from these digital matchmakers prior to quarantine, but ya girl can only handle so much social isolation. So, after a few weeks of only really seeing me, myself, and I, it was time to start putting myself back out there…virtually, of course. A solid year of swiping later (and fighting the occasional urge to hit the delete button), I found myself wondering: is dating really that different now? I think we’ve got a lot of old trends, maybe some new tricks…
FaceTime First Dates
Let’s start on a positive note, shall we? This pandemic concept of FaceTime first dates is golden. I’d like to petition to instate this permanently, because even if the date isn’t a keeper, this idea definitely is! This was how I did all of my first dates last spring and summer. Note: big fan! For starters, it’s insanely convenient. Happy hour would strike, and I would walk 10 feet from my desk to my couch, answer a call (let him call you, ladies…it’s the least he can do when we make it this easy!), and *bam* I immediately convert from professional to hot date. Magic. Plus, Zoom rules apply, so you only really have to look decent from the waist, up (I mean, now that I’ve dated in yoga pants, everything else seems way overrated). There’s no commute time, no waiting on each other at your meeting spot, no awkwardly trying to pick each other out in a crowd, no frantically reapplying your makeup en route from the office, and no need to shave your legs. Ummm, winning. Plus, let’s be real, this method is extra efficient. It’s easy to wrap things up when the conversation starts to lag, instead of feeling like you have to wait for the other person to finish their drink (or worse…suffering through a multi-course meal when both of you would rather be anywhere else). Also, having multiple dates in one night is a breeze. Just saying.
On a separate note, last summer I read an article talking about how the pandemic had shifted the dating culture from hookups to more emotional connection. I mean of course people didn’t really have the option of going out to a bar, picking someone up, and taking them home, but I think plenty of people are still in it for hookups, maybe they’re just being a little less obvious about it (but not much)…
The Guy Who Invites Himself Over
He has no interest in social distancing. In fact, he’s perfectly down to skip a typical public meeting altogether and invite himself over. After a couple of weeks of chatting with him, he suggested a first date…at my place. Bold move, bro. I suggested some less personal alternatives…and he promptly stopped responding.
The Virtual Booty Caller
So, rookie move on my part – I made the mistake of giving this guy my phone number way too quickly (I mean, texting is way more convenient than app messaging, so usually when a guy asks, I’m not super hesitant about it). But, a few hours of back and forth later, he decided to call me. At 1:30am. And started talking dirty to me. That’s right, he actually thought we were gonna…mmhmmmm…over the phone. A whopping, like, 5 hours after first connecting on the app. No joke. I had him blocked before he even realized I had hung up.
The MVP (Major Virtual Player)
The one who’s right at home in corona times…because he has no real plans to ever actually meet you anyway. This guy blew up my phone for weeks and then totally blew me off when it came time to actually take me out. I swear he got off on making and breaking plans. Fair warning: make sure you’re not in a text-ationship. Even when you’re “talking” constantly, you can’t have a real relationship with someone you’ve never actually met.
I’d say pandemic dating is a lot like the “before times,” just with some new excuses and minor plot twists. But, fear not, darling – I mean, after all, nothing we haven’t seen and conquered before, right?
